So far this blog has been pretty much like a journal documenting where I’ve been and who I’ve met. I’ve talked about my travels, the states that I’ve visited, the wonderful hosts that were so kind to bring me into their homes, the choruses that I visited and a few obstacles that I encountered along the way. Now I want to talk about the effect that these experiences have had on me.
It is more clear to me than ever before that I am alone. I don’t have to ask anyone before making a decision. During the years that I was married to Janet when it was time to make a decision we discussed things. Every decision that I made was based upon how it was going to affect her and the children. She is no longer directly affected by my decisions so I no longer have to make those considerations. My children are grown and on their own now so my decisions no longer have the same impact on them. They are out making their own decisions now.
During the time that I was married to Valerie every decision that I made was based upon how it would affect her. When it was time to make an important decision we talked about it and came to a conclusion that we both could live with. I no longer need to make decisions based upon how it will affect her. (though I wish that I did).
I recognize that my decisions still have an impact on those who love me but It is different now. There is a different kind of connection and a different kind of responsibility owed to them. I will always endeavor to be a good father, grandpa, son, brother and friend but I owe a different type of commitment to fulfill those roles.
I believe that the events of the past four months have helped me to make some important decisions about what I should be doing with the rest of my life. I feel confident that attending Harmony University in Nashville, Tennessee in August and receiving some training as a director is the right decision. I am feeling more confident by the day that the decision to relocate to North Carolina is the right choice for me. I know that a select few are not too happy about it but they will survive. It’s not like I will never be in Indiana again. I will visit as often as I can.
As with every decision that I have made in my life I reserve the right to change my mind. I have been very pleased with my decision to travel this year. It has helped me understand that I don’t have to be lonely in my aloneness. I have been a benefactor of the kindness offered by gracious and generous people who are part of a wonderful family of Barbershoppers.
I am confident that I will be well received in North Carolina. I am optimistic that there is some lovely lady who might enjoy my company. Of course that could be said about most any place I might go as there are many lovely ladies out there.
I have been able to accomplish several things since being back in Indy. Selling the Chevy van and the trailer was at the top of the list and I’m so pleased to say that they have both been sold. Getting Valerie’s house listed for sale is another primary concern. Things are moving in the right direction on that front now thanks to Becky Cline.
It can be a very difficult place to be in when you know that you have important decisions that need to be made. Although a lot of work may come as a result of making a decision it is often easier simply because the decision has been made. There is a certain pressure that is alleviated. Now it’s time to get busy making the changes happen.
My travels are not over just yet. As I head out to Las Vegas I will still be watching, listening and gathering information that may just prove to be very useful. There are still some important decisions ahead.